Exodus 3:11-14

¹¹ But Moses said to God, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?” ¹² And God said, “I will be with you. And this will be the sign to you that it is I who have sent you: When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you will worship God on this mountain.” ¹³ Moses said to God, “Suppose I go to the Israelites and say to them, ‘The God of your fathers has sent me to you,’ and they ask me, ‘What is his name?’ Then what shall I tell them?” ¹⁴ God said to Moses, “I am who I am. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: ‘I am has sent me to you.’”

~Exodus 3:11-14

Recently I was going through an application and interview process for a position at the Honor Academy called a Core Advisor, but I didn't get accepted for the position  I know that God has called me to do this, but I didn't get the position, so I kept saying to myself, who am I that I even thought I could get this position? And I realized that all the feelings I felt was basically Am I Enough? or Am I Worthy? I went to the prayer room and just started talking to God, I said God am I enough? Am I worthy? Who do you say I am? He wasn't really answering, so my mind started to fill in the blanks of what I would imagine God would say, I am beautiful, I am loved, ect... But then I just thought No, that's not you God, I know that's not you because that is not what I need to hear right now and you know exactly what I need to hear right now. So I started thinking of scriptures but nothing was coming to me, then I said to God, Answer me, I need you to talk to me now, silence is not acceptable right now, Who am I that I even thought that I should be a core advisor, or that you should even talk to me. After I said that, I instantly thought of Exodus 3:11 Where Moses says, "Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?" And I realized, this is exactly how I am feeling, Moses is saying am I worthy to do this, am I enough? So I flipped to Exodus to find the answer God gives to Moses' question. God says " I will be with you. And this will be a sign to you that it is I who have sent you: When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you will worship God on this mountain." After I read this I thought What the heck God, that doesn't answer the question. No, I know your character, you didn't leave Him without an answer, you answered his question somehow.So I kept reading to find the answer, Moses said to God, “Suppose I go to the Israelites and say to them, ‘The God of your fathers has sent me to you,’ and they ask me, ‘What is his name?’ Then what shall I tell them?” God said to Moses, “I am who I am. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: ‘I am has sent me to you.’” I realized that not only did God just answer Moses' question, He also answered Moses' first question. Moses says Who am I, But God says I AM. Moses says am I worthy, But God says, I AM Worthy. Moses says am I enough, but God says I AM Enough. Moses says  “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?” but in verse 8 God says, "I have come down to rescue them from the hand of the Egyptians and to bring them up out of that land into a good and spacious land, a land flowing with milk and honey" Moses Keeps saying Who am I but God says you're NOT, I AM. I realized It's not about me, nothing is about me. Humility is not about thinking less of yourself, It's about thinking of yourself less. Moses was thinking less of Himself, but God was saying to him, it's not even about you, He said you're not, I AM. I AM working out the details, I AM enough. The only thing you are doing is obeying, I AM speaking, I AM BRINGING THE ISRAELITES OUT OF EGYPT.

You are sitting in a cage, you were raised in that cage, you have lived there your whole life, just dreaming about the sky and flying through it, but all you have ever known is the cage. Then one day you notice that the door to your cage has been opened, you don't know when it opened, but it's open. In your heart you know you can just leave, but you decide that you like your cage and your metal perch, it's where you feel safe and comfortable. While you sit there, you look to your left and see another bird in a cage beside yours and you notice the door to their cage is opened. You yell to her "Fly away, your free!" But she looks at you with sorrow in her eyes and shrinks back into the depths of her cage. Why didn't she listen, you wonder, doesn't she understand how free she is. Then you think to yourself do I understand how free I am? Do you even believe your own Words? How is she going to believe your words if you don't even believe the words that you say. You KILLED it, you KILLED the power in your words. Every word has a meaning, and that meaning is the power in that word. Your Free, you say in your head, then you shout out at the top of your lungs "I'm Free!" The words lift your wings for you and you take off and leave the cage, and you see the sky and the perfect clouds, and you think of how it would feel to fly through them. You stop and glance back at the other bird who has been watching you curiously, and you say "Come with me." She looks and you and the vast sky behind you, then she looks back at her cage around her. You look at her with compassion and softly say "Your free." Her face lightens as she feels the compassion and love in the words you gently spoke to her. Then she looks at her cage and cringes as she realizes how much better it is outside of the cage. She stretches out her wings and chases after you into the sky the way only a free bird can.

First Few Weeks at the HA

The first couple weeks we arrived at the Honor Academy we go through an LTE called gauntlet week, which is kind of like a detox from the world. We can only listen to worship music, we had to have intense room checks everyday, we couldn't watch any movies or TV shows, and we had a couple sessions everyday.
I really liked the opening session with Ron Luce, I realized how much I need to change my heart and open up the eyes of my heart to God. I realized right away how hard of a change it was going to be, but how worth it and necessary the change would be. I realized how worldly and obsessed with things I have been lately. I felt very ashamed of my past knowing I could of changed but didn't, it was hard coming to this new place with no one I knew. I was glad I got put in the gauntlet core I was in. I became really good friends with my whole core instantly, and they are still my friends. It was really hard being put in a call center because I am very introverted and I don’t really like talking. At first I was afraid to be in a call center because I was afraid I would say the wrong things to everyone or not be able to get anyone to want to go on mission trips, but I’m realizing now that God is using this opportunity to make me rely on him and let him work through me. I asked everyday for God to give me the grace to want to call people.
 I enjoyed the Commitment banquet because it was a symbol of me committing a year to God and letting him enter in and change me into who he wants me to be. It was a good time to be able to be with my gauntlet core before we got our new cores. Gauntlet was defiantly hard but I feel like I grew a lot closer to God and made some good friends who I will hopefully have for the rest of my life even though I just met them. It was hard leaving some of them, but I defiantly grew through it and through getting a new core. I also grew a lot through getting put in a ministry placement I didn't want to be put into.

I'm Going to Colombia

I recently decided to go on a mission trip to Colombia with Global Expeditions!

I’m excited about this trip, because Global Expeditions is committed to equipping me to be effective in reaching out to others in Colombia, while also challenging me to become more aware of the needs of others in my own community. I cannot think of a better way to spend my time than sharing the Gospel with others and allowing God to change my own heart and life in the process!

Last semester I went to the prayer room and God spoke to me there. He told me that He has Chosen me to go to Colombia this spring and He gave me the verse Isaiah 42:1.

WHY Colombia??

Bogota, the main economic center of Colombia and one of the largest cities in the world, was torn apart by drug cartels and left for waste. Now huge sections of the city are overrun by extreme poverty and struggling to recover from government dominance and the effects of widespread drug trafficking. This nation needs to hear about the restoring and redeeming power of God. For this project, we’re looking for young adults ready for hard work and committed to giving everything for the Cause. Working in the poorest areas, this team will work with full time missionaries to provide food, give away clothes, and facilitate children’s ministry.

The total cost of this trip is $2300 and covers everything once I arrive in Colombia. During the next several weeks I will be working very hard to raise the funds to go and I wanted to begin by asking you to be part of this mission trip with me by helping with finances. My trip starts on May 18 and I’ll be back home on May 25.

Any amount you give will be greatly appreciated, and because Teen Mania’s Global Expeditions is a registered non-profit, your donations will be tax deductible!

If you’d like to support me, you can go online yo www.globalexpeditions.com/donate using my Missionary ID# 2498841 Your support is a key part of the incredible ministry I know will happen in Colombia! If you have any questions you can call me at 407-708-8861 or a Global Expeditions representative at 1.866.545.6239.

My goal is to have $1400 raised by April 8^th, so thank you for your consideration. Your prayer and encouragement will also be cherished!

It begins...

The past 5 months here at the Honor Academy have been the most intense yet amazing months of my life. I didn't really know why I was coming here, I just came because I felt like it was what I had to do. The Honor Academy is a Christian internship in the middle of nowhere Texas. Here we have class for one to two hours a day and then we work for about six hours a day. We also get put into groups called cores, my core consists of six other girls, I'm in the same room as three of them and the other three are in the room next to us, all the girls in my core are my sisters. We are also given a brother core, which is just a group of guys who we get to call brothers and they show us how we should be treated by guys and how to be friends with them without having romantic feelings getting in the way. I work in the Global Expeditions call center as a groups representative, so I call youth pastors and people interested in bringing a group on a mission trip and talk to them about the trips we have and all the details about them. When you get here you actually go through interviews to get placed in your ministry placements, and I really didn't want to get put in a call center. When they announced I was put in the Global Expeditions call center, I'll be honest, I cried. I prayed for God's grace to be able to do my job and enjoy it for the whole first semester here. He has given me so much grace and I actually love my job now, I love calling youth pastors and hearing about their stories, their groups, and their lives. My ministry placement is what I spend the majority of my time here doing, but I love it so much now, especially because I have and amazing group of people I work with who I always look forward to seeing every day. I am taking a lot of classes such as, Character Development, Leadership Lab, Pursuit of God, and Risen. They are teaching me to be a leader in all situations, and how I can be a leader even if I'm not in a position of leadership. About every month or two we have an LTE which is a Life Transforming Event, so far we have had five and these are events that usually take a whole weekend, we have done things such as climb a mountain and fasted for three days, and we have more to come. I have been having such an awesome and fun growing experience so far and we aren't even half way done with the year.